In the event of a zombie apocalypse, you have to decide between one of two choices – fight – or turn into a zombie. Whilst the latter may seem easier in the short-term, it’s actually a lot messier and less glamorous than you might think. You then have to eat brains, battle the psychological torture of whether you should eat your own brother and hang out in hospitals, supermarkets and garages more than you ever did in your human state.
In that case, let’s say you opt to fight – what then? Well, you need a plan. You need to think about where you’re going to go, what you’ll fight with and your getaway vehicle of choice.
Where to go
Rather than take your lead from Simon Pegg and head down to your local, you should think about the main areas in which zombies congregate and avoid them at all costs. Stay clear of densely populated areas and head for the ocean – very rarely do you see a sea-borne zombie. If you live near a fortress then lucky you, head for that. Your best bet, in fact, could be to stay at home with your back to a wall, wielding a large weapon, which leads us to our next point.
Choosing your weapon
Now, this all depends on what you have available to you. People seldom plan ahead for a worldwide apocalypse so it’s likely that your zombie-killing instrument of choice will come from what’s already in your shed, garage or kitchen drawers. Farmers would have a great advantage at this point, with outbuildings full of fancy gadgets and pitchforks, whilst accountants may be slightly more limited. This is when the kitchen comes into its own. Otherwise, you may need to drive to the nearest B&Q.
Your getaway vehicle
This brings us to the final stage of your three-step plan. Your getaway vehicle. At the beginning of a zombie apocalypse, you’re limited to what you already own, be it a car, van, bike, scooter or motorhome. And there’s a good chance it’s going to get pretty roughed up. Ideally, you’re going to want something which doesn’t leave you exposed to the elements or the flesh-eating ruffians you may encounter on the roads. A van would be ideal for this and could provide you with much-needed shelter should you find yourself surrounded only by zombie-filled establishments.
The most important thing is that you’ve got insurance that holds up. In the event of an apocalypse, your vehicle will be subject to numerous risks, from getting the paintwork scratched by a horde of angry zombies to running out of petrol and breaking down during your getaway. Specialised car insurance will give you the peace of mind that you’re financially protected against these very real dangers. Providing you or your insurers don’t get turned into the walking dead in the meantime, that is.
… OK, we admit it, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, you probably won’t be needing car insurance. Let’s face it, you can probably borrow a Porsche from one of the many abandoned auto shops if your own vehicle gets smashed up by hungry zombies. But whilst we’re still free from a state of global emergency, a dedicated insurance policy can protect you or your business from a variety of threats.
Contact NC Insurance to find out how we can arrange a policy to help keep you or your business moving… even when faced with a ravenous horde of zombies. Call us on 0191 482 1219 or request a quote on our website.
For additional information on keeping safe, read our blog post: Up your Household Security for Autumn & Winter